Istanbul Again, Part 3: An Unlikely Judge

This will be the third and final entry of my “Istanbul, Again” series.  Enough, already–I’ve been back nearly three weeks.

Before I wrap it up, though, another mention of my  six-month stint in Alanya.  This summer, I went from an on-again, off-again yoga practitioner to a full-out dedicated daily yogini.  In Alanya, I practiced #yogaeverywhere.  At home, at the park, on the beach, by the pool, in the garden, at work, at historical ruins, on this fountain:

While of course, a few people gave me odd looks, most people smiled at me or gave me “thumbs up”, many were curious about yoga, and several people, on different occasions, joined in.

Life in Alanya is sunny and carefree–the levels of stress, crowding, traffic, pollution, judgement of others, and agitation are far higher in Istanbul.  I often find myself feeling defensive, even aggressive, when walking the streets of Istanbul en route to work, home, or market.  Yesterday was different.  I was feeling incredibly cheerful and relaxed.  My housekeeper (an angel slid down from heaven on a rainbow) had met me at home to prepare my apartment for an impending visit from a fellow dancer from Cairo, the weather was crisp and bright, I was on time, but not early on my commute to my appointment, and I was listening to two beautiful songs on repeat. It was all I could do to keep from dancing on the metro.  In fact, I’m sure I swayed a bit.

When I exited the metro, I headed to the minibus stop.  It looked like I would have to wait a bit, so I glanced around and spotted a place along a wall, near the bottom of a ramp, away from both street and most pedestrian traffic.  I treated myself to a brief round of yogic sun salutations:  Reach up, touch the ground, single plank and push up, gentle backbend, push all the up and back, repeat.

People walking by glanced at me as they went on their way.  An middle aged woman and her companion stopped so she could give me a big smile.  A teenage boy walking by with his friends said to me encouraging, “Kolay gelsin, abla.”  “Abla” meaning sister, and “Kolay gelsin”–literally “May it come easily”–an empathetic nicety used upon coming into contact with a person who is working on something.

Just as I was coming out of dancer pose and had stopped to adjust my headphones, a girl of about 18 approached me.

“Napiyorsun?” she asked me.  What are you doing?

“I’m waiting for the minibus.”  Wasn’t it obvious?

“No, I mean what are you doing?” she asked again.

“Yoga yapiyorum,” I responded.  I’m doing yoga.  I gave her a smile.

“But everyone is looking at you,” she said.

“It’s okay.  They can look.”

“No, we don’t do that here.”  Oh?  You mean here in Turkey?  Where I’ve lived for five years?

I raised my eyebrows and said nothing.

“People can misunderstand you,” she explained.

“It’s you who misunderstands,” I said to her.

She sputtered some other words, but I’d decided to stop listening.  I adjusted the headphones and took a few breaths.  A lady and her daughter waved at me from a departing minibus, but I couldn’t smile back or enjoy my music or yoga anymore.  I looked down at my phone instead.

Of all the busy-body older ladies and all the perverted men and all the religious freaks that could have passed by me, it was an 18-year-old female student who shamed me out of my wonderful mood and movement with her “well-meaning” commentary.

As a person whose look is fairly uncommon here in Turkey, and as a woman of child-bearing age, some people are going to stare at me, or possibly make remarks to me regardless of what I do, whether I demurely sit and wait for the bus, meekly keeping my eyes on the ground, or gracefully and unobtrusively do a few calisthenics.  I was neither vulgar nor inappropriate.  The seemingly most unlikely individual to criticize me was the one person who I offended, and it surprised me how deeply and thoroughly she negatively affected my mood.

Once I reached my destination, after replaying the event over and over in my mind on the way, I recounted the story to my client, a writer, translator, and the father of an eight year old girl.  I even shed a single (and slightly embarrassing) tear of frustration over the fact that I’d let her spoil my mood and also out of relief of having expressed myself and being understood.  As I wiped it away, my client’s daughter Defne appeared, carrying a tray with a cup of tea for each of us.

Pleasant mood restored.

Yoga love in Alanya

I wanted to share this photo; I like it a lot:

 It was taken by a weirdo at the park.  He seemed like a bit of a pervert, but when he saw me propping up my camera phone with timer against my water jar and offered to take the picture, I said, sure, why not?

We’re nearly a third into October, which means I’m on the home stretch of my time in Alanya.  I have really enjoyed the experience and will miss many things about life here, but I must say, I’m getting quite antsy to leave!

On the other hand, I’m not sure what I’ll do next.

I’ve changed, as people do, over the past several months living and working in Alanya.  Probably the most significant change I’ve undergone is developing and maintaining a daily yoga practice.  I’ve had an on-again, off-again, under-appreciative relationship with yoga for a very long time, but this time, it’s true love.

The Nosiest Neighbor

I live in an apartment complex in Alanya with a shared garden, pool, beach, and small, pretty, underutilized amphitheater. There is also our friendly and convenient little market that almost never closes, and a cafe, called Relax, owned and operated by one of our gregarious residents.
I was sitting in Relax this afternoon, when one of the older ladies I’d just met briefly for the first time yesterday struck up a conversation with me. Here are most of the questions she asked me:
How long have you been in Turkey? How old are you? Are you renting that apartment? 2nd floor? Who owns it? Who is that? Oh. Well, what’s her husband’s name? He’s your boss? Where do you work? Do they pay you on time?

It’s a fact that Turkish people can be nosy, but she really caught me off guard! As she fired off questions, I spouted out the facts automatically. The only question I was prepared for was, “Yaşın kaç?” (How old are you?”)
I sweetly responded, “Yaş ve maaş sorulmaz (“Age and salary are not to be asked.”) It’s clever ’cause it rhymes.
She laughed, but then turned to the lady sitting next to her and said: “She looks young, but with all that experience…” and guessed my age spot on!

Belly Dance Booty Blooper

Normally, I double check everything before hitting the stage, but last night, my coverup was on and my shoes were buckled, and somehow, something slid past “son kontrol”–final inspection.

After my dramatic entrance on to stage, (in a palanquin, no less),

and my regal dismissal of the two strapping young men who carry me onto said raised stage, I proceeded with my show as always.

It wasn’t until midway through my first song–after plenty of turns and spins–that I noticed the jewelry seller out in front waving urgently to get my attention. My skirt was unzipped in the back!

I’d flashed everyone.

What could I do but quickly zip it, chuckle a bit, shrug it off, and keep dancing?

Nothing, so that’s what I did.

Oryantal Lara’s Detox in Paradise?

When I asked my friend Eli, who studied psychology in school and taught in the classroom adjacent to me when I was a teacher at Bosphorus International Preschool, if she thought I was “too self-absorbed” she replied that the mere fact that I was concerned about being too self-absorbed was proof that I was not.

Whew, what a relief, because I do talk about myself quite a lot.

I love my life and I find it exciting. I want to share it with people, and I want them to love their lives as much as possible, too.

I’m always touched, quite pleased, and, more often than not, surprised when someone tells me that I’ve inspired them to do or try something that enriches their happiness, goals, or well-being. It’s true, though, that I’m a bit of an evangelist for living your best life.

I’ve had five guests (friends and family) come stay with me in Alanya on the beach, for anywhere from a long weekend to a few weeks, and four of them mentioned that their time here felt like a detox. One quit smoking cigarettes during her two week stay! (I can’t take credit for that–that’s amazing!) I was thrilled when my mother joined me in practicing yoga while she was here, and I was really excited to hear which of the postures helped to ease a sore spot on her hip/lower back area.

When it comes to food, I prefer to eat all my meals at home and I find it liberating that with the right ingredients and tools, I can prepare most anything I’d like. I became a conscious (can be interpreted as snobby, odd) eater, far before I became an avid cook, and I’m so glad I finally discovered how enjoyable and satisfying it is to make your own healthy, delicious food. Guest number one, a Japanese belly dancer who lives in Istanbul, was always peeking into my pots and pans and blender with curiosity, and guest number five, another former coworker of mine from my school teaching days in Istanbul, said that staying with me was like “having a free cookery lesson”. My sister, who stayed here only nine days, exercised at the open air community gym across the street and jogged around the neighborhood, dropping seven pounds she’d gained after an injury sustained while completing a marathon earlier this year. Seven pounds in nine days! And it’s not like we weren’t eating a LOT. When I have company, a large portion of my day is spent preparing healthy (and delicious!) food and sharing meals with them. Plus, my mother was preparing us delightful dishes, too. What a treat! When I’m alone, I tend to eat more simply, but no less healthily.

My guests went away saying they felt lighter, healthier, more relaxed, had “the digestion of a two year old”, and were expressing plans to “cook more”, “eat more healthy foods”, try this or that recipe at home, or that they might continue eating a vegan diet after they left me. Another two of them were able to go without coffee and played with the idea of not picking up the habit again once they returned home.

I’m in a unique position to enjoy life easily because I really like my job–I absolutely love performing on stage, and the stage on which I dance, the venue that houses it, and the people who work around it are all mostly wonderful, and the benefits and hours are great. What’s more, I don’t work every day–we’re only open three or four days a week–so I don’t get burned out from “too much of a good thing”. Since I perform in the evenings, I have the chance to spend the days relaxing, trying to achieve a yogic handstand (it’s nearly in sight!), cooking, reading, writing, visiting with my neighbors in the garden or our cafe, or teaching yoga to the kids who follow me around the condominium complex. There’s also always the pool downstairs, or the beach, which is just across the underpass from the garden. Nights that I don’t work are spent doing more of the same.

Still, it’s taken me awhile to reach this level of job satisfaction. I’ve held a lot of occupations, walked out of jobs in high dudgeon more than twice, and even (gasp!) been fired from a position I didn’t want, before getting to this point. With a brother who’s a former investment banker and now owns his own event productions company in Hong Kong, a sister who, after leaving her job as a big-time attorney in favor of being a chic mom, returned to work not as a lawyer, but as a high-end realtor, and second sister who formerly worked for a member of congress and as a middle school math teacher, then went on to found a tutoring company and publish a book on GRE math, it kind of runs in my family to maintain our sanity by doing what we were meant to do.

While I’m enjoying where I am in life right now, I also have big goals for the future. I want to grow as a dancer, one day becoming as good as the dancers I most admire. And while I love performing in Turkey (and Cyprus and Greece and Montenegro, as occasional opportunities have popped up over the past two and a half years), there are many beautiful performance stages in many countries, and I’d like to dip my toes into the sea of them! Another of my longer-term goals is to give workshops internationally, and all over the US. There’s something rewarding about teaching to dedicated dancers that I’ve only rarely had the pleasure of experiencing. This is something you only get better at over time. It takes a lot of performances and a lot of teaching to get to the “master teacher” level. I often think that once I become tired of (and before I become too old for) performing full-time for public audiences, I’d like to travel the world giving specialized workshops at festivals and intensives into my middle age and far beyond. After all, one of the most incredible teachers I’ve had whispered to me that she was “older than pantyhose”, and she continues to sharing her knowledge with dancers on several continents.

But enough about my dance goals. One of my guests (hi, Julia!) came up with the loveliest suggestion during her stay. “Why not host retreats for people to detox and recharge?” My mother chimed in–“You can get them into a healthy lifestyle. They could do yoga and eat vegan food. . .” and “You’d do it in a tropical place, like this, where they could swim in the sea and relax.” And of course, “I’d come every year!”

The more I think about it, the more I like the idea. I like to help people, it feels good. I love traveling to exotic places. I’m quite the hostess–I used to run a guest house, after all. And I know (and love) healthy tasty food and desserts, sharing yoga, and treating oneself and one’s body kindly. So. . . What else do you need for such a retreat? Clients, I guess. Anything else?

Dance/Life. Dance Life.

My apartment here in Alanya has been a whirlwind with guests coming in and out since June.  It’s been fun, but now that I’m on my own again until Allah bilir (god knows), I’ll have a chance to get back to my art (dance), my practice (yoga), and my writing (a book[!]).

I’ve had some interesting life experiences so far.  Some of them are shared on this blog, but many have been omitted.  Also, the tales leading up to how I got to this point have been serendipitous or amusing or lucky or bizarre or tragic, and I thought I’d like to get it all down on virtual paper.  When I asked my sister Julia (who’s written a book herself!) what deadline she thought I should set for the book’s completion, she suggested I aim to finish it by my next birthday.  That gives me 10 months to work on it.

Some of the stories from the blog–like the time I was attacked by the owner of seedy night spot Beyzade’s angry son–might make it in, but other stories will be in the book that I have never told to anyone.  I figure time heals all wounds and minimizes shame.

So wish me luck to finish by June 29th, 2014, and I hope you will all read it!

xoxo,

Lara

Castles, Caves and Carob

The end of another month.  My, how time flies.  I am lucky enough to have had my sister and mother visiting for the past week+, and so far, so wonderful!

Love my sister!

Yesterday, a neighbor-friend and his cousin took the three of us to Alanya Castle,

Alanya Castle

which was built in the late 13th century and has the most beautiful views, as it is situated at the very top of a peninsula that juts out to, and plummets down into the sea.

Beautiful Alanya

There are two castles on that peninsula.  One of them is nestled at the end of a circuitous path in a wooded area, and I, the directionally challenged guide, could not find it, but we had fun on the way, getting lost and picking carob pods to eat later.

Can I cook with those?

After that, we headed down from the peninsula, back into town, then up into the mountains again toward Dimçayı cave.  Dim Cave was formed by erosion caused by the waves of the Mediterranean Sea passing through Alanya’s mountains thousands and thousands of years ago.  It was magnificent–cool on a sweltering day, fascinating and a bit creepy inside.

Dim Cave–amazing natural phenomenon!

Thoroughly enjoyed and highly recommended!

 

Yay!

 

 

 

A Day in Manavgat

The phone rang this morning around 8. I was kind of awake, but not really. It was Neyazi, the driver who usually takes me to and from work. He was taking a group of tourists to Manavgat, and since I’d mentioned that I’d like to go there, he invited me to come along. I had 10 minutes!
I threw myself together and rushed out of the door as quickly as I could, forgetting to bring both my wallet and my bathing suit, but still managing to create from scratch, then devour, a chocolate banana cashew pudding. (Recipe below.)
My driver friend, two of his 11 passengers–an amicable mother and daughter–and I chatted as we headed to Manavgat.
Once we arrived, we visited a mosque, which was perfect for a little mosque yoga.

(Is that religiously appropriate? I think it’s fine.)

Following that, the lot of us boarded a modest mid-sized yacht and headed smoothly down Some River. (I don’t know which.)

I did sun salutations, arm balances, and stretches on the boat, too. Two little girls joined me. Could I be addicted to yoga?

The boat docked for those who wished to have a quick swim break in the icy mountain water (no thanks) before pulling up to a beautiful beach, where I ate gözleme, drank tea and gossiped in the shade with the aunties who make and sell the gözleme and tea

and the amcalar (uncles) who sit around them, while most everyone from the boat went swimming and sunning.

Beach yoga interlude:

After an hour and a half or so on the beach, we returned to the boat for a very nice lunch and headed back up the river.

After leaving the boat, our next destination was the Manavgat Şelale (waterfall).

There’s a barrier that keeps you from being swept away by the rushing water, but the viewing platform is built in such a way that the very cold mountain water gushes rapidly around your feet. It feels amazing!

There was some shopping after that, but I was knackered, uninterested, and without a wallet, so I sat in a cafe and enjoyed free tea.

On the way back from Manavgat, Neyazi dropped me off at work–thank goodness for the emergency costume I keep there–where I had some time to rest a bit, practice handstand a bit (final yoga reference), and drink rosé a little bit before eventually performing (which was great tonight!) toward the end of the dinner show.

A wonderful day!

Quickest Chocolate Banana Cashew Pudding (for breakfast, snack, or dessert)

There are a million variations of easy yummy blender puddings. Here’s the one I made today–

3 peeled ripe bananas
Handful of raw, unsalted cashews
One pitted date
Big spoonful of cocoa powder
Spoonful of coconut butter
Splash or two of water

Directions–
Dump ingredients in blender and purée until completely smooth.

Eat with a spoon or gulp down!
It’s delicious and nutritious.

Dance/Life

I’ve been doing other things besides getting punched in the face by strangers.

I have been having the most incredible time practicing yoga everyday,

“Ladylike” back bend on a castle wall. 🙂

spending time with friends in Alanya and those who are thoughtful enough to visit me from faraway lands (Istanbul, etc.),

My old roomie (the nice one) and me on my BIRTHDAY last week!

and of course, dancing!

🙂

I broke up a fight with my chin.

I’m not sure if was worth it.

I was hanging with some American friends of mine last night.  We were a bit separated, but all headed out of the club to meet at the door.  Just as I exited the club, there was a fight in progress.  Some steroid monster was mercilessly beating up a lanky dude.  Punch!  Knee to the chest! (Or groin.  Not sure.)

There were a lot of people watching.

So, I said, “Hayır!  Hayır!”  (No! No!) and so turns the freak and punches me in the chin.  I fell in slow motion.  Kind of a graceful float down, followed by a thud to a sitting position.  Someone helped me up.  I was livid.  My assailant made a quick escape.

Anyway, so I ended the fight.  I’m a total She-ra.

My jaw hurts, my lip is swollen and bruised, and I missed my trip to Manavgat this morning because I was feeling sorry for myself.  Instead, I’m at Relax Cafe, repeatedly recounting the story on demand to my gossip-loving neighbors.  Perhaps later I’ll have a dip in the pool.  Could have been much worse.

Look how much fun I was having before I got punched in the face!